Difference Maker #5

In 1978 we moved to Texline, TX to minister to the church there. Texline is a little bitty town in the far northwest corner of the Texas panhandle. There were about 400 people in the town but it was a farming/ranching area so there were more people in the area. When we moved there the church had about 125 people. Those were some of the most wonderful people in the world. That's where I met JL as a matter of fact. We were young and stupid but we didn't have the faintest idea we were. After all, this was actually "our second church" so we pretty much knew all there was to know about ministering to God's people. (Fact of the matter is, it's a wonder we didn't offend everyone with our supposed wisdom.)

A young man moved to town to be a loan officer at the bank. He was just a couple of years older than us. JL as a matter of course met Mark and befriended him like he did everyone. Mark was searching for God - a "true" Christian was how he described it. After a time, he said "I want whatever it is that JL has -- I believe him to be a true Christian". He started coming to a Bible study and we grew to love him dearly. He gave his life to the Lord and was so committed to growing in the Lord. For some reason he and I connected - kindred spirits I guess. He was like the big brother I had always wanted and didn't have. Because he was single, I took it upon myself to 'mother' him -- feeding him, etc. He was just a really, really good person. One night after church on Sunday night he went home (he lived out in the country), changed into his shorts and went for his nightly jog. He was hit by a car and killed that night. John was called and he drove out there and held Mark's head in his lap until the ambulance came. They had to come clear from Dalhart because we didn't have an ambulance in Texline. John and JL drove behind the ambulance to Amarillo - I went out to the L abode and stayed with R. We heard a couple of hours later that he died before getting to Amarillo.

That was the first time I had ever lost anyone close to me. It was devastating. I knew nothing about grief but I learned the hard way. I learned in that horrible, nightmarish night that none of us had a guaranteed life span. If you love someone, tell them. I had grown up in a home where I knew I was loved, but we weren't 'touchy-feely' and didn't speak of love out loud. But I learned to do that after Mark. One of the things that gave me comfort in the dark days and weeks after he died, was that I HAD told Mark I loved him. So I didn't have that regret. I changed that night. For the better. I became more open to showing love and sharing love. In that way, Mark's life and death were honored and he lives on. When son #2 came on the scene, we honored him again -- Tyler Mark Scott, born 5 years after Mark died.

Difference Maker # 3 & 4

This post will actually be about two women, neither of which I knew well. This goes to show how profound an impact you can have on someone whom you may not really know. As a matter of fact' as I am typing this post for the life of me I can't even remember one of the lady's name. That speaks far more to my failing memory than to her impact, however.

The time was the summer of 1991. I was a devastated, terrified, blubbering mess. John had just moved out - I was a single mom of 3 hurting kids and I had never worked outside my home. There weren't many job openings for jilted preacher's wives and I had no idea what I was going to do. The church was pretty pointed about letting me know that I didn't belong there anymore and they would do just about anything they could to help me leave that little community. I was in no shape to make those kinds of decisions and how could I take my children away from the only home they had ever known when they were already suffering so many changes? So, I was alone. No husband, no church family, no home and no job. Vanessa (little sis) had come to Spearman and taken me back to Abilene to her home. It was a Wednesday night and she was at church - I was at home crying my eyes out still. It was raining like crazy - thunder and lightening almost constant. The phone rings and a voice on the other end of the line says "Michelle, you don't know me but...." This lady in Spearman that I had never met had gone to the trouble of tracking me down to call me. She said, "I've been praying for you and I want to talk to you about what you are going to do next." She operated a day care center in her home and her husband was being transferred to Colorado. She wanted to give me her business. She asked that I come over to her house when I returned home. I was so touched that someone would go to that much trouble when they didn't know me at all but I didn't seriously consider her offer. Not because it wasn't enticing but because I was a total mental case. I couldn't decide what to eat or wear at that point. Weeks later I was back in Spearman when she called again and asked me to come to her house. I did and she opened up her books, showed me how much money she made - the works. She then pulled out a bunch of paperwork from the government and said "In order for you to be a registered care giver you need to fill these out and register w/ the state. I've taken the liberty of paying the fee for you already - you just need to sign." I left there thinking maybe we wouldn't starve to death after all but still not sure I wanted or could do this. It was that very same week that my phone rang again. "Michelle? You don't know me but my name is DB and I run Snoopy's. I'd like to talk to you about that. Could you come over?" Snoopy's was the town's only day care in a stand alone facility. It was on the same block as my house and I walked down the alley and was there in a few minutes. She opened up her books and said "I've been wanting to open a bakery for years and I think the time to do that is now. I'd like to give you my business. I've talked w/ my husband and we'd like to offer you the building for a year rent free. After 6 months you could begin paying the utilities and then next year you could pay rent too. I want to give you my clients as well."

Okay, Lord. I get it. I'm going into the day care business. It's no accident that day care was and remains, a passion. I just connect to little kids and I love them to death. So was it all one big luck of the draw that the one career I didn't need anything for except the skills I already possessed was being handed to me, not once but twice? At one time I might have actually believed that. But no more. God was so faithful. He's faithful to me always - but in those days I was privileged to witness it in dramatic, way out of the box ways. God took two women I didn't know and who shared faith in him that was expressed in vastly different ways but they united to bless me and my family. They taught me that God was still very active in the lives of his people and he was going to go with Matt, Tyler, Katie & I as we walked the lonely road that we had been dropped off on.

I opened that day care business licensed to care for 12 kids. I had 12 clients on opening day and I had 12 clients a year and a half later when I moved away. We were amply, abundantly provided for and never, ever once did I worry about money.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen" (Ephesians 3:19-20)

I love this song......

I’m caught up in the push and shove, daily grind,
Burning time, spinning wheels.
I wonder what I’m doing here, day to day year to year
Standing still.

Somewhere there’s a teacher with a heart that never quits
Staying after school to help some inner city kids
A mother who’s a volunteer
A soldier in the fight
I can’t help but ask myself when I lay down at night

Did I make a difference in someone’s life?
What hurts did I heal?
What wrongs did I right?
Did I raise my voice in defense of the truth?
Did I lend my hand to the destitute?
When my race is run, when my song is sung,
Will I have to wonder?
Did I make a difference?
Did I make a difference?

I’ve been working hard to make a living
And forgetting what true living is.
Taking more than giving, something’s missing
Lord how long can I go on like this

There’s a lonely old man down the street
And I should be ashamed.
I’ve never been to see him,
I don’t even know his name
There’s kids without their supper in my own neighborhood
Will I look back some day and say that I did all I could?

Did I make a difference in someone’s life?
What hurts did I heal?
What wrongs did I right?
Did I raise my voice in defense of the truth?
Did I lend my hand to the destitute?
When my race is run, when my song is sung,
Will I have to wonder?
Did I make a difference?
Did I make a difference?

Composer: Crosby, Anderson
Performed by: Oak Ridge Boys

It has me thinking. If I don't make some changes there won't be anything to say at my funeral. Which I guess would be okay since there wouldn't be any people there either. I am so selfish and self absorbed. My intentions are great, but my practical application is lacking.

Listen to the song...it's awesome.

Difference Maker #2

Well, I can't make a list of people who have profoundly changed my life without mentioning J & R. Oh my goodness, how I love those two. J is cowboy to the core. He's of the old school, respectful of women, honest to the nth degree. His word is his bond. He is the one who taught me to laugh at myself. He didn't make the learning all that pain free either I might add. He used to tease me mercilessly. Somehow God had given him the insight to know exactly what it was I needed and he set about getting me to lighten up. I've got so many of the funniest, laugh-out-loud memories of times spent at the L spread.

R was like a big sister to me and since I didn't have one (I AM the big sister) it was a precious, precious joy. I looked to her for advice on how to raise my kids (their four have turned out BEAUTIFULLY), how to be a hostess (I could NEVER measure up to her greatness), and how to be a servant. J taught me to laugh, he taught me to keep my word and he taught me to do the right thing regardless of the personal cost. They welcomed us into their family AS family. When my first born came along they adopted him as their own. Nothing grabs your heart and bonds it forever with someone else's as the act of loving your kid. They kept Matt when I needed them to and also when they created a reason to. Of course that was far and away okay with him. J got in the habit of taking Matt to the cafe for coffee breaks during the day. Like any honest to goodness Texas town the cafe existed for all the men-folk to come in for coffee at an appointed time of day. Matt loved being one of the men when he was just 2 or 3 or 4. One time he saved his own money because he wanted to be the one to buy the coffee. Thankfully J let him.

It was to R that I turned during the darkest hours of my life. I don't think I spent even one breath trying to figure out who I could talk to. I knew instantly who it would be and I knew she would do everything in her power to help. She did. Just by being there. The years and circumstances have taken me far away from the L homestead and it grieves me not to see them frequently. I am ashamed to admit I don't take advantage nearly often enough of the phone to talk to them. But at odd times, when I least expect it, the phone rings. On the other end of the line I hear some really outrageous joke and then a burst of laughter and in that instant I am drawn right back to that little Panhandle town. J gets a kick out of seeing how outrageous he can be and he does it without cracking a smile...for a second or two. No one enjoys his jokes more than he himself.

I am so sorry that my younger two haven't had the blessing of being in their company more. The first 5-1/2 years of Matt's life were spent in nearly daily contact with them. Who am I kidding? There was lots and lots of times it would be more accurately portrayed as hourly contact with them. It's incredible to me that as little time as Tyler & Katie have had with them that they were so deeply impacted that they will mention out of the clear blue that they want to go visit J & R.

The Bible says that God will bless us "exceedingly, abundantly more than we can ask or even think". He did that in spades when he brought that family into my life. I am so looking forward to spending eternity in their company.

I love you guys.

People that have made a difference

I've decided to spend some time thinking about all the people in my life that touched me deeply. I'd like to meditate a bit on how very blessed I am to love and be loved by so many people. I won't try to name them all by any means but along the way some very special people changed me in some way for the better. I think I'll try to start chronologically but I might not hold to that....I just don't know.

Difference Maker #1
When I was in 7th grade the church where I grew up got a new preacher. Up to that time the preachers had been in the 50+ range but then along came D.C. He was young...only 27 when he was hired. He had more energy than three 20-year-olds and went full steam about 22 hours a day. He immediately took an interest in working with the youth group. There was a deacon who had been the unpaid youth minister and between the two of them they grew that youth group to about 85-100 kids...not too bad for a 250 member congregation!! D.C. wasn't easy on us by any means...we had intense Bible studies and memory work. We were encouraged to be able to share the good news with people we met. We went door to door in a low income area to sign up kids to come to a Saturday morning Bible class. We'd go around and pick the kids up in a bus and bring them to the church to have Bible classes, play time, crafts and a hot meal. The teens did all the work except for the meal. Then we'd get up the next morning to do it all again on Sunday. We went on Campaigns for Christ....but we played a whole bunch too. Youth group is where I learned to play Capture the Flag...all about Snipe Hunting...I fell in love multiple times with the high school guys. It's where I learned to love to sing. D.C. taught me to love and appreciate the Word of God. He taught me to hide it in my heart. Still all these years later I can quote book, chapter and verse (and often times in the good old KJV) for so many important truths. He was the first person I got to know well who literally gave his life for the body of Christ. When I was in late high school I was hired as the Church Secretary and so got to spend lots of hours with him. It was good for me to have an adult in my life that I could look to for guidance. I could ask him the questions and tell him the things I couldn't tell my folks. And to be honest, being close to your preacher keeps you from stepping too terribly far out of formation...you don't want to have to explain that to him. He baptized me, he performed my wedding ceremony the first go-round and he stood and honored my precious Daddy on the day we said our final goodbyes to him. And so, D.C. has a real place of honor in my hall of fame. We still stay in touch and in fact he & his wife, K. have moved to Texas of all places and they live quite near the metroplex now. Hopefully I'll get to visit with them more often. K. was the first preacher's wife I really knew and when it came about that I found myself in that role too I was extremely intimidated. No way could I be the preacher's wife K. was...except in one way...she's a fellow red head. :-) My faith has grown in a different direction in some ways than it was way back when and probably in some ways that he would be concerned about but the foundation he helped to lay is still present in my life and I am profoundly grateful.

Thank you, D.