A date!!! I hadn’t been on a date in 20 years but all of a sudden I felt just as much teen-age angst as I ever felt. What should I wear? I’ve got to get a babysitter. I called friends of mine in Amarillo to see if I could spend the night with them Saturday night – we had decided that in addition to the Saturday night event we were going to we would take in breakfast and church Sunday morning before I headed home. Mr. Nice Guy was actually working in Dallas at the time so he was flying up to Amarillo and would pick me up at my friends’ house.
The friend who was at my house when I got the call insisted on paying for a manicure so I set out for Amarillo Saturday morning with fake but beautiful hands, a stomach full of butterflies and a determination to find ‘something to wear’ at the mall. The perfect pair of jeans later I headed to Canyon to my friends’ house for a long catch up visit. Before I knew it the door bell was ringing and I was introducing everyone. Then it was off for dinner and later, the Emmaus Candlelight that was the main purpose of our evening.
Thomas and I have laughed over that first date a million times. Because, y’all there would have been no second date and certainly no marriage had I based it on the first date impression. Whew. Talk about bad!! It was. That’s another story – I’d hate for you to think badly of the dear man. Obviously I saw something that was worth a second look since 6 months later we were married.
I don’t know if many men would have been so willing to take on the responsibility of a wife with three kids. Thomas was not just willing, but eager. He had given up on the idea that he would have children since he’d reached the ripe old age of 40 without having found me. So to get 3 in the bargain was just the ticket for him. He has been in Indian Princesses, Cub Scouts, coached all sorts of sports teams. He’s held puking heads over the commode (I just can’t do throw up), he’s canoed down the Brazos, he’s sometimes worked 2 jobs to support us, bought cars, clothes, Play Stations and Barbie by the dozens. He did it all without having had much of an example in his own life too – proof positive God has been in the picture since the very beginning.
Oh yeah....My original “Gideon’s fleece” check list?
1.) With all his heart
2.) Never
3.) None
4.) 18 months & 7 days
Showing posts with label husbands. Show all posts
Showing posts with label husbands. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Mr. Nice Guy
A friend excitedly told me she wanted me to meet this guy who had moved back to the panhandle – he was such a great guy and he was soooooooooooo nice. My smiling face said “Sure” but my brain was saying “Nice. Right. There is no such thing as nice.” She invited me to a weekly accountability group and lo & behold, Mr. Nice Guy was a member of the group. He was always cheerful and seemed to be an integral part of the group. He shook my hand when we were introduced but that was about it. Ya'll he was ca-yuuute (for you non-southerners -- C. U. T. E. is actually two syllables at bare minimum) and I didn’t mind looking at him a bit but beyond that, I hadn’t a thought in my mind. After all, timing was not right according to my time table and I was still pretty fragile.
Fast forward several months - it's a Tuesday evening about 8:30. For some time I had been meeting with two sisters to just pray – it was such a great time and one of the high points of my week. One of the gals had already left and I was just casually visiting with the other when the phone rang. I answered the phone and my friend could tell there was something quite momentous about this phone call. She watched as my eyes widened and I promptly backed up to prop myself against the wall behind me. Instead, I bumped into a shadow box with 4,738 miniatures in it and knocked it kerpow, straight to the floor. My grace astounds even me.
“Michelle, this is Mr. Nice Guy. How are you this evening?”
“Oh, I’m fine! And you?" I think it actually sounded more like mmm,..uhhhh, fffffine.
“I was wondering if you would like to go to Amarillo with me this Saturday evening?”
HOLY CRAP. I was 37 years old and I was going on a date.
I did what any self-respecting girl does in a situation like this. After agreeing and getting the details I hung up the phone, looked at my friend and …………..
screamed.
Fast forward several months - it's a Tuesday evening about 8:30. For some time I had been meeting with two sisters to just pray – it was such a great time and one of the high points of my week. One of the gals had already left and I was just casually visiting with the other when the phone rang. I answered the phone and my friend could tell there was something quite momentous about this phone call. She watched as my eyes widened and I promptly backed up to prop myself against the wall behind me. Instead, I bumped into a shadow box with 4,738 miniatures in it and knocked it kerpow, straight to the floor. My grace astounds even me.
“Michelle, this is Mr. Nice Guy. How are you this evening?”
“Oh, I’m fine! And you?" I think it actually sounded more like mmm,..uhhhh, fffffine.
“I was wondering if you would like to go to Amarillo with me this Saturday evening?”
HOLY CRAP. I was 37 years old and I was going on a date.
I did what any self-respecting girl does in a situation like this. After agreeing and getting the details I hung up the phone, looked at my friend and …………..
screamed.
Monday, September 17, 2007
The one I caught.............
Since I told the story of “the one that got away” I decided that today I would share the story of how I met Thomas. It’s a story of God moving in definite, traceable ways so that I, a very wounded woman, could trust that it was God and not me.
About a year after I learned that John (my ex) was in love with my good friend (I have since redefined what ‘good friend’ means to me) I wrote in a prayer journal: “God I am very tired of going it alone. Being a single parent is hard when the kids are so young and need so much. Where do I turn when I am worried about money or discipline or any of the myriad of things that come up in the day?” And He said, “Michelle, you turn to me.” I was learning that in so many ways and it was filling my cup and I was learning to trust Him. For too long I’d placed men of God or knowledge of God ahead of knowing God but I was learning each day the blessed difference. In spite of all I was learning about and from the Lord there was one area of my life that I hadn’t turned over to him. That was the pain and the shame and the failure of divorce. I was so very ashamed – I felt certain that there was a large bold red letter RDF tattooed on my forehead. Rejected!! Divorced!! Failure!! was all that I felt about me at the time.
The next entry in my journal went something like this: “Lord, I don’t know if there is a man in my future – I don’t know if I’ll ever trust again but even if I do, who is going to choose me? If there is somebody out there that can overlook the fact that I obviously couldn’t do marriage right – if there really is such a guy then I am going to need all the assurances in the world from you that it is your hand guiding the relationship”. Not mine. Not this mythical guy’s. Not any human hand. Then I decided to lay out my fleece just like Gideon did.
1.) He must love the Lord above all else.
2.) He must never have been married before – I have enough baggage for two.
3.) He must not have any children of his own – my children need undivided attention and loyalty
4.) He must not call me or ask me out until 18 months after the end of my marriage.
I thought I had made the list so impossible that I wouldn’t have to worry. I would accept my single state and not have to take a chance on love again because well, God didn’t send me anyone that met the requirements. Let’s face it, a man with no kids and no prior marriage at the late 30’s age point?? Most of those that were still single were single for a reason, people!
Aaaahhh, but my God is so big.
To be continued…………..
About a year after I learned that John (my ex) was in love with my good friend (I have since redefined what ‘good friend’ means to me) I wrote in a prayer journal: “God I am very tired of going it alone. Being a single parent is hard when the kids are so young and need so much. Where do I turn when I am worried about money or discipline or any of the myriad of things that come up in the day?” And He said, “Michelle, you turn to me.” I was learning that in so many ways and it was filling my cup and I was learning to trust Him. For too long I’d placed men of God or knowledge of God ahead of knowing God but I was learning each day the blessed difference. In spite of all I was learning about and from the Lord there was one area of my life that I hadn’t turned over to him. That was the pain and the shame and the failure of divorce. I was so very ashamed – I felt certain that there was a large bold red letter RDF tattooed on my forehead. Rejected!! Divorced!! Failure!! was all that I felt about me at the time.
The next entry in my journal went something like this: “Lord, I don’t know if there is a man in my future – I don’t know if I’ll ever trust again but even if I do, who is going to choose me? If there is somebody out there that can overlook the fact that I obviously couldn’t do marriage right – if there really is such a guy then I am going to need all the assurances in the world from you that it is your hand guiding the relationship”. Not mine. Not this mythical guy’s. Not any human hand. Then I decided to lay out my fleece just like Gideon did.
1.) He must love the Lord above all else.
2.) He must never have been married before – I have enough baggage for two.
3.) He must not have any children of his own – my children need undivided attention and loyalty
4.) He must not call me or ask me out until 18 months after the end of my marriage.
I thought I had made the list so impossible that I wouldn’t have to worry. I would accept my single state and not have to take a chance on love again because well, God didn’t send me anyone that met the requirements. Let’s face it, a man with no kids and no prior marriage at the late 30’s age point?? Most of those that were still single were single for a reason, people!
Aaaahhh, but my God is so big.
To be continued…………..
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Short story today.......
It was in the storm I met Him.
I learned that storms, though brutal, do not last forever. They eventually end. I learned that storms are survivable when God is in control. I didn’t need the oars anymore. God was captain of my ship and I thought I was exactly where God wanted me to be. He brought a man into my life that adored me and was eager to become Dad to three hurting kids. The fact that he was willing to take on a woman scarred by divorce and serious trust issues and three children who were dealing with abandonment issues of their own is proof either of God’s direction in his life or insanity on his part. The jury is still out on that one! All of a sudden this country girl found herself living in a metropolitan area that was literally 50 times larger than the community she had moved from. I went from a place where we grew and canned our own food to a place where people were far more likely to get dinner from the drive through than their back yard. I was in culture shock but God was in control. (As a complete aside from this serious post I would like to say that I have completely adapted to that drive-through thing and am compelled to say the day-in and day-out cooking thing is highly over rated!)
I learned that storms, though brutal, do not last forever. They eventually end. I learned that storms are survivable when God is in control. I didn’t need the oars anymore. God was captain of my ship and I thought I was exactly where God wanted me to be. He brought a man into my life that adored me and was eager to become Dad to three hurting kids. The fact that he was willing to take on a woman scarred by divorce and serious trust issues and three children who were dealing with abandonment issues of their own is proof either of God’s direction in his life or insanity on his part. The jury is still out on that one! All of a sudden this country girl found herself living in a metropolitan area that was literally 50 times larger than the community she had moved from. I went from a place where we grew and canned our own food to a place where people were far more likely to get dinner from the drive through than their back yard. I was in culture shock but God was in control. (As a complete aside from this serious post I would like to say that I have completely adapted to that drive-through thing and am compelled to say the day-in and day-out cooking thing is highly over rated!)
Monday, August 13, 2007
Well, I am
completely thoughtless. Not as in, rude, uncaring, arrogant or unlovely. As in WITHOUT. ONE. THOUGHT. WORTH. BLOGGING.ABOUT.
It's a sad testimony to the current state of affairs in my life. Nothing remotely interesting, even to me! The saga of the kitchen remodel is going to go on forever so I don't even want to THINK about that, let alone write about it. (Latesttragedy problem is one of the outlets is dead.) How does one go about fixing that you ask? You rip a big fat hole in the wall - the same wall you spent an entire weekend putting up tile. The thoughts in my head are not pretty at the moment and so you see why I cannot share them.
We are finally having a "normal" summer in the metroplex. This means it is 110 degrees in the shade. It IS mid-August after all, but all that rain and cool weather (trust me, 92 degrees IS cool for summer around here) I have been woefully spoiled. It's too hot to even move outside. Saturday we went out to eat with friends that live at the end of our street. I would not even walk to their house. They came and picked us up in their car. I'd already decided we were driving to their house if they didn't. I do not like to sweat.
Last night (Sunday) darling hubby and I went to the Majestic Theatre in downtown big D and saw "Defending the Caveman". He has an incredible ability to make you laugh uproariously at your own behavior. He nailed the differences between male and female down. Funny, funny stuff. You should definitely check it out. Thomas had gotten these tickets for me for my birthday. He definitely outdid himself - our seats were ON THE FRONT ROW. AND we had valet parking. So Happy Birthday to me all over again!!
There you have it - the comings and goings of the C family. Perhaps my relaying of these events will trigger some writing mania and I'll get beyond the writer's block that is paralyzing me at this time. Until then -- see you!
It's a sad testimony to the current state of affairs in my life. Nothing remotely interesting, even to me! The saga of the kitchen remodel is going to go on forever so I don't even want to THINK about that, let alone write about it. (Latest
We are finally having a "normal" summer in the metroplex. This means it is 110 degrees in the shade. It IS mid-August after all, but all that rain and cool weather (trust me, 92 degrees IS cool for summer around here) I have been woefully spoiled. It's too hot to even move outside. Saturday we went out to eat with friends that live at the end of our street. I would not even walk to their house. They came and picked us up in their car. I'd already decided we were driving to their house if they didn't. I do not like to sweat.
Last night (Sunday) darling hubby and I went to the Majestic Theatre in downtown big D and saw "Defending the Caveman". He has an incredible ability to make you laugh uproariously at your own behavior. He nailed the differences between male and female down. Funny, funny stuff. You should definitely check it out. Thomas had gotten these tickets for me for my birthday. He definitely outdid himself - our seats were ON THE FRONT ROW. AND we had valet parking. So Happy Birthday to me all over again!!
There you have it - the comings and goings of the C family. Perhaps my relaying of these events will trigger some writing mania and I'll get beyond the writer's block that is paralyzing me at this time. Until then -- see you!
Monday, July 16, 2007
He's baaaack
Thomas went to Grenada on July 1 and came back on July 14. He loves that mission trip and had a great time watching God at work, building a preschool, and fellowshipping with 76 other Greenville Oaks people. He wants me to go....but I am not a flyer in the very best of worlds and the time they had actually getting there would have FREAKED me out. So I stay home and make money so he can go. Yeah, right. I do stay home. I realized that as attractive as being single might sound when you THINK you are sick to death of men(!), the attractiveness wears off at about day 4. And by day 10 you can't think of a single reason why you thought it would be fun to be alone. So I have a new appreciation for how hard being a widow is. God wiped my face in my judgemental snobbishness. Sigh. I don't know nearly as much as I like to think I do.
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