Channeling Scarlett O'Hara here........

This is really pitiful. It's been one long bloggy desert has it not? And with no explanation, good bye, thank you.....nuttin'.

Writing makes me think and thinking makes me dwell on what's going on and if I do that I might be so very sad. We don't want to be sad so we just don't write, think, dwell. It worked for Scarlett O'Hara and I used to adore her. (Seriously - when you are a teen-age girl could there possibly have been anything greater than multiple guys vying for your attention??) Well fiddle-de-dee!

It all has to do with this boy:

and I'll be telling you the whole story very soon. Like maybe next week. Probably Monday. I'll be needing something to occupy my mind and my hands then. I promise it will be a "Glory to God in the Highest" story that will have you lifting holy hands even if you're Church of Christ. Indeed. It's just that good.

Of course, I've been silent so long I have no readers so I'll have to drum up some business. People need to hear about my boy. Oh yes they do.

Be careful what you ask for

Last night Tyler and I visited on the phone. This kid is worrying me to death. He is such an adrenaline junkie. He's thinking he would like to find a logging job for the summer. LOGGING!! I tried in my very best mom voice to let him know I didn't care if he was almost twenty-two he was most certainly NOT going to do that!! It's the most dangerous job in the world, don't you know?? Well, of course he knows - that's what is so appealing - to know that any false move, any bad decision could mean your death -- that's (and I quote) "awesome".

Clearly he's had some serious brain damage somewhere along the way that we know nothing about. He's going to be the death of ME is what's going to happen. I told him that he needed to find a nice girl and think about settling down. Oh, he's waaaaay too young to be thinking about that! He's got a lot of living left to do!! I told him that I was already married when I was his age. His response? "You are serious! Are you SERIOUS?" As if I had just told him I was scheduled on the next space flight.

I told him that at the rate all three of my children were going, I would be dead before I had any grandkids. He said "Don't worry, mom." Since we've had this discussion, oh maybe one or two times before (I'm persistent) I knew what was going to follow -- "You are young, mom and I'm going to settle down before long, yada, yada, yada."

This time - not so much. Here is what I heard just seconds after my brain had already began formulating the reply to what I knew he was going to say.

"I'll go out this very evening, mom, and make sure you have a grandbaby in about nine months."

Oh yes he did say that. He doesn't have to worry about me bringing that subject up again for a while.

Don't make me fly up there, son.

Still on blogging hiatus....

but alive. Sometimes pain just has to be struggled with and the battle isn't quick & easy. This week began with the news that our young law clerk in Sao Paulo died in a tragic accident. He was someone I had been working with closely and he was just the sweetest young man. So, another one of those loss things that unhinges me.

Things in Colorado with my sweet man child are going well -- he's broke as the Ten Commandments but he's getting by and loving every minute. He's working a part time job right now waiting for the Resort to get in full swing - he'll keep it when it does and work after hours or on his days off. He needs to get his financial reserves back up since they are currently in the "I'd be sunk without my parents" column. We're going up there the second week in December so we'll have Christmas together then. He won't be coming home anytime soon. He can't afford it and besides that, holidays are big ski business. We talk frequently on the phone (and he does the majority of the calling) and he never fails to tell me he loves me and misses me. Oh yeah..he did say "I'm for sure coming down there for the Guadalupe." Translated that means, "I'm coming home the first of June for my annual float down the river camping trip with 496 of my closest friends." That airline voucher has to be used carefully and wisely you know.

God is speaking to me in this time of desert wanderings. Being on the potter's wheel isn't all that pleasant but then again, the feel of the Potter's hands on my life is humbling and awesome all at once.

Do you love me more than these?

We are starting a mission emphasis month at GO. Lots of things happened this morning in view of that fact. Keith preached from John 21 where Jesus asks Peter 3 times, "Peter, do you love me? Feed my sheep." Of course in very affluent Collin County the question of "Do you love me more than these? (in Peter's case the incredible catch -- and in ours - success, financial wealth, power, nice homes...) becomes a question that causes you to hesitate just a bit. Of course I love you Lord, but can't I love you in my nice 4 bedroom home? Or keep the six figure income...or the executive position...or any of these things that we in Collin County measure as success? Strip away all the pretenses and those questions get a little harder for me personally to answer.

But anyway...back to this morning. Today was the last Sunday that Joel, our intern from the island of Grenada is going to be here. He's such a sweetheart. Keith brought Joel to the front at the end of his lesson and let Joel share his response to the question "Do you love me more than these?". Joel is young - just turned 21. He said people ask him all the time "Why be a preacher Joel? You could be anything you want to be!" and he said he knew he could be a doctor or a lawyer and in fact had been offered a scholarship to study computer engineering in China. But he said "My answer is yes, Lord...I love you more than all of these." It was a really powerful tear jerker moment for me. Yeah Joel! You rock.

Then there was a combined teen and all adult Bible class today where Joel talked more about the island of Grenada and the need that exists for the good news of Jesus to be shared. Then Brian Dollinger got up to share he and Christy's plans for going to Rwanda. You cannot get into that country as a missionary - they are going to teach school. On the way to Jason's Deli after church Matt asked me, "What would you say if I told you I want to go to Rwanda to teach school after I graduate?"

And I remembered the question again - "Michelle, do you love me more than these?" More than having my firstborn son on the same continent as I? My first thoughts are "Oh no, don't ask that of me!" Then, I told Matt I would be so very proud of him if that was the decision he made...I knew he would be serving in a way that he would never have opportunity here. I told him I would cry because he would be so far away. So it was a happy/sad kind of thing.

Lovest thou me more than these?