what's bugging me. I think it is the proverbial straw. I was struggling with the whole empty nest thing (can I say it again - folks it is HARD!) but I was beginning to see that there were definitely some positives in the situation - positives I could see myself getting used to. Before I had my self fully upright though I learn my mom is having heart problems and so on Monday I am going to be in Abilene, in the waiting room as she is having an angiogram. This came so out of nowhere that it has me unbalanced. (I know that my two readers would and could make a very convincing case that unbalanced is my normal state but I submit that is not the case. Always.)
AND THEN.......Thomas comes home to announce that he was told that very day just minutes before he was to walk out the door that his department is being cut from 6 to 3 and none of them are guaranteed a position - they all have to reapply. He knows for certain that the position he holds now is not an option. He's going to take a lower position if he gets one at all. We are in "that" age bracket -- when companies can hire someone without one ounce of experience, no wealth of knowledge but 1/2 the paycheck. And it's all about the bottom line these days. I know we are supposed to be ready for these situations and have the little emergency fund stored away for such a time as this. We don't. We chose to keep me at home with the kids until they were in junior high. A choice I would make again in a heartbeat. But making it on one salary in this area meant lots of sacrifices (again, made joyfully) but it also meant a lot of stuff went undone that could no longer be ignored. So we were getting to a place where we were almost 'caught up' but ahead? Not even in our dreams.
I know God has a plan. I know God is in control. I know that not one time through the darkest days of my life have I been abandoned by my Father. I trust that He is going to take care of us. But the unknown just plain scares the dickens out of me. And so I covet prayers. We have to wait for two weeks before we know anything. Gee thanks. But all day today I was remembering a verse that I have come to love - Deut. 33:27 - "The eternal God is your refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms..." I can leap out into this unknown because underneath are the everlasting arms. I'm not going to fall far - and when I do it's into the arms of the one who made me, who loves me, who sings over me, who has engraved my name on his hand.
Now aren't I ashamed of getting myself all frazzled?
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