Going first

It's happened enough that it's pretty hard to deny (to myself) that God is wanting to teach me something. Does it happen for you that way too? All of a sudden, everywhere you turn there is some event, some song, some book, some scripture that keeps coming up with a common theme? It's usually one that causes you to wince a little. You just know this is gonna hurt a bit.

Several times lately I've come across the concept of giving the people in my realm of influence the gift of going second. The first time I heard that phrase I was intrigued because after all, making my friends go second doesn't seem all that good a thing to do, right? When I investigated and figured out what was being said I knew I'd be much more comfortable with my previous definition of "good" -- that being, my friends can go first.

It's like this. Have you ever sat in a small group situation when someone confesses they need to share something with the group and they need your forgiveness, help, etc....and then they say "I just haven't been reading my Bible daily." I don't want to minimize the importance of daily Bible study -- this isn't what that's all about at all. Essentially they have 'set the bar' now for confession for your group. Someone else steps up and mournfully shares they haven't been praying as they should. Again, I'm not mocking that. But where does that leave you? Sitting in the group knowing how ugly your heart is....knowing that you have outright lied to your boss at work -- knowingly and willfully lied. Or the niggling little voice in the back of your mind that says you are becoming too fond of that glass of wine every evening that has beome two and three glasses, starting earlier and earlier. Or the fact that you have multiple prescriptions at multiple pharmacies from multiple doctors for pain relievers. Or you're trapped in the voracious monster of internet porn. You're tempted to have an affair. You don't love your spouse. All those real things that people struggle with every single day and yet we live as though we are above it all and would never ever have those feelings. Is it realistic to expect that someone is going to follow up "I've not been praying enough." with "I've been having dinner with someone other than my mate." ???

I am reminded of a song "Stained Glass Masquerade" by Casting Crowns.

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small
Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong
So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain

AUTHENTICITY. That's become somewhat of a buzz word in the religious sector today. It doesn't diminish the need for it. And that is where the challenge comes in - giving your group the gift of going first. If I go first and share the real Michelle and the real Michelle's struggles, you are freed to share the real you. THEN community develops. Healing begins. Churches grow. God is glorified.

I'm not sure I'm ready to go first. But if not me, then who?