Ode to the Cowboy, The End

At the time I was dating the boy who would later become my husband but I was pretty miserable. His definition of “exclusive relationship” meant I dated him and he dated whomever he chose. (For evermore why didn’t I see the handwriting on the wall?) I was so completely lacking in self respect and confidence and plain good sense that I was going along with this plan. Being with a bad boyfriend seemed much more desirable than being without any boyfriend. It was my security blanket….proof that someone could love me. He was the darling of every adult in my life and they all thought I should hang on to this great catch. I was nothing if not obedient. Gorgeous Cowboy had seen me with Steady BF all around campus and he had told his advisor that he was going to pursue me. Advisor said “She’s taken, you won’t have any luck” and that was all the encouragement he needed. Suddenly I was running into him. Every day. Every where. By this time in my goof-off educational career I was passionately pursuing my major - Student Center 301. Liz and I were Spades Champions Extraordinaire and were happy to take on these cowboys as fresh meat new challengers. They reciprocated by teaching us the card game Pitch. Being the talented, bright person that I am, I quickly had a double major – Spades and Pitch. I knew in my heart of hearts that it was a whole lot more than the thrill of a card game that was causing this feeling in my stomach. The thoughtful politeness of this boy-gentleman had my brain in an uproar.

Obedient self: What about Steady Boyfriend?
Dizzy self: He doesn’t treat me like GC does.
Obedient self: But you have Steady BF's class ring!
Dizzy self: But he doesn’t smile like GC does.
Obedient self: But your parents, preacher, youth minister love steady BF.
Dizzy self: But my stomach doesn’t do flip flops when he catches my eye and winks.

You see the dilemma. Stay safe. Or go against everything you have ever done in your obedient life. I did what any sane, rational, obedient 19 year old college girl would do.

I fell head over heels, madly, deeply in love with Gorgeous Cowboy. All I wanted in life was to be beside this guy whose life had been so different from mine. Oh who am I kidding?? All I wanted in life was to be in the arms of this guy. He knew about things I had no knowledge of whatsoever. For fun he rode bulls. He never did let his hair grow and he kept those Wranglers. Mercy!!! I grew to appreciate those Wranglers. He made me feel confident and smart and beautiful. He made me oh, so weak in the knees. He made me believe I was worth the chase. In turn I knew he was worth the price. My parents didn’t approve or understand. There wasn’t anything at all wrong with GC except that he wasn’t Steady BF. At the end of the year we said goodbye. I knew it was the final one. He had dreams that included the National Finals and the rodeo circuit…dreams that a girl didn’t want to try to compete with nor keep him from. Deep down I knew I was Obedient Girl and would ultimately walk the path others had chosen for me. For the first time in my life I knew that sometimes you have to let go of someone you love because the time just isn’t right. Sometimes the girl doesn't get the guy.

I haven’t seen him since then. I heard he’d settled in that area but I never go back there anymore so I don’t know. If there is any justice in the world he’s gone bald and has dunlaps disease (his belly done lapped over his belt). If he has aged like this man I’m going to need a drink. Or a shrink.

This is my Ode to The Cowboy. And to Young Love.
The End.

Ode to The Cowboy, part 1

I have been stalking this woman for months now. No day is complete unless I have entertained myself with her captivating stories. She had me from the get go because a) she’s funny and b) she lives in the country. Oh, I’m so jealous. In light of an approaching anniversary she has been sharing the story of how she met and married her cowboy.

That has me reliving my own love affair with a cowboy. Keep in mind this is a PG site (my entire life is a PG story ANYWAY). I’m using the term “love affair” in the most innocent and beautiful of ways. After all these years I still remember that breathless-heart racing-mind numbing rush of emotion that hit me whenever I looked at my cowboy.

It was a Friday night in the 19th year of my life. My attached-at-the-hip-best friend, Liz and I were dragging main, because it was, well, our job. We had stopped at the 7-11 at one end of the drag to do something vital like buy gum and go to the bathroom. We walked out the door to my bomb car and noticed two guys who were noticing us. In an interested kind of way. A girl just knows these things.

[What follows here is important information necessary to 'set the scene'. The whole “Flower Power, Love Child, Hippie, Power to the People” era had just recently made its way to our neck of the woods. It took about 5 years for West Coast changes to make it to our little berg. So, our wardrobes consisted of well worn, very bell-bottom jeans with patches, peasant blouses, long very straight hair and beads. With the exception of the peasant blouse business, this was a unisex wardrobe. All the guys at this college had long hair, bellbottom jeans and flip flops. Until my sophomore year. In came this influx of cowboys on rodeo scholarships. I had never seen such a thing! Those poor guys would be so cute if they’d, you know, wear Levi’s instead of Wranglers and let their hair grow for heaven’s sake!]

Back to these boys at 7-11. They were wearing big cowboy hats and grins, oh my gosh, their grins. So we grinned back. And they asked, “Can we have a ride back to the dorm?” Here it became my Christian duty to help – it was nearly winter in Colorado and all. Their jackets didn’t look warm enough to protect them from the elements. Clearly I was being called upon to entertain one of those “angels unaware” that the King James Version told me about. I’m nothing if not obedient so I said “Mmmmmm, but I don’t know you…..smile, wink…” “I’m Hunky Cowboy and this here is Gorgeous Cowboy”. Now that we were friends, we all crawled into my car (girls in the front, boys in the back) and backed out of the 7-11 and immediately pulled into the dorm parking lot. (I didn’t say they had to walk far). We talked for hours that night and I knew that the world as I had carefully defined it had just taken a 180 degree turn.