Talkin 'bout the rain

Time for my high school reunion. Ugh. Only the actual high school years themselves could be more angst-ridden. I had a great four years. I was, for the most part happy and constantly on the go. That's on the one hand. On the other, was the stress of constantly worrying about being "popular"...would he ask me out or not? What if I didn't have a date this weekend? Was this dress cute? There was that time I was afraid to go to my locker for days because a couple of girls did not want me around a certain guy. Never mind he was not dating, nor was he interested in dating either of them. The inevitable confrontation occurred. They strongly suggested I stay away from him. And I didn't. And that was that. Yes, indeed those were the days. I couldn't imagine a life where those relationships weren't center to my existence. And now here I am, ahem...(never you mind) how many years later and I have actually stayed in touch with maybe 5 people out of a class of 172. I wish I'd known then that I would never see some of those people again. I wish I'd had the maturity to know that it mattered less who sat beside me in English and more about who would sit beside me in eternity. The song HERE I GO AGAIN by Casting Crowns says it so well. How will they know if we don't tell them? It's a great song - you need to listen to it if you aren't familar with it but the thought is a prayer to God to give him the words as he talks to his friend who doesn't know the Lord and as he struggles for words he doesn't understand why he's so afraid to share the truth that will save his friend and yet "Here I go again, talkin 'bout the rain and mulling over things that won't live past today. And as I dance around the truth, time is not his friend. This might be my last chance to tell him that you love him, but here I go again...." (Actually, I urge you to run, don't walk, to the nearest place you can purchase CD's and purchase every Casting Crown CD you see. My favorite is Lifesong but the above song is on Casting Crowns and it's great too.)

(P.S...have you noticed that music is the way God speaks to me most often? And yes, the above picture is my high school. The octagon with the grey roof was an open-air hell hole, I mean, P.E. area. There were no, I mean NO windows....and oh yeah, Go Tigers!)

People that have made a difference

I've decided to spend some time thinking about all the people in my life that touched me deeply. I'd like to meditate a bit on how very blessed I am to love and be loved by so many people. I won't try to name them all by any means but along the way some very special people changed me in some way for the better. I think I'll try to start chronologically but I might not hold to that....I just don't know.

Difference Maker #1
When I was in 7th grade the church where I grew up got a new preacher. Up to that time the preachers had been in the 50+ range but then along came D.C. He was young...only 27 when he was hired. He had more energy than three 20-year-olds and went full steam about 22 hours a day. He immediately took an interest in working with the youth group. There was a deacon who had been the unpaid youth minister and between the two of them they grew that youth group to about 85-100 kids...not too bad for a 250 member congregation!! D.C. wasn't easy on us by any means...we had intense Bible studies and memory work. We were encouraged to be able to share the good news with people we met. We went door to door in a low income area to sign up kids to come to a Saturday morning Bible class. We'd go around and pick the kids up in a bus and bring them to the church to have Bible classes, play time, crafts and a hot meal. The teens did all the work except for the meal. Then we'd get up the next morning to do it all again on Sunday. We went on Campaigns for Christ....but we played a whole bunch too. Youth group is where I learned to play Capture the Flag...all about Snipe Hunting...I fell in love multiple times with the high school guys. It's where I learned to love to sing. D.C. taught me to love and appreciate the Word of God. He taught me to hide it in my heart. Still all these years later I can quote book, chapter and verse (and often times in the good old KJV) for so many important truths. He was the first person I got to know well who literally gave his life for the body of Christ. When I was in late high school I was hired as the Church Secretary and so got to spend lots of hours with him. It was good for me to have an adult in my life that I could look to for guidance. I could ask him the questions and tell him the things I couldn't tell my folks. And to be honest, being close to your preacher keeps you from stepping too terribly far out of formation...you don't want to have to explain that to him. He baptized me, he performed my wedding ceremony the first go-round and he stood and honored my precious Daddy on the day we said our final goodbyes to him. And so, D.C. has a real place of honor in my hall of fame. We still stay in touch and in fact he & his wife, K. have moved to Texas of all places and they live quite near the metroplex now. Hopefully I'll get to visit with them more often. K. was the first preacher's wife I really knew and when it came about that I found myself in that role too I was extremely intimidated. No way could I be the preacher's wife K. was...except in one way...she's a fellow red head. :-) My faith has grown in a different direction in some ways than it was way back when and probably in some ways that he would be concerned about but the foundation he helped to lay is still present in my life and I am profoundly grateful.

Thank you, D.

Dear Me in 1972

One of the many blogs that I read periodically had this idea that everyone should write a letter to themselves at some major point in their past. I thought that intriguing so here goes.......

Dear Me in 1972,

You will not believe how fast time flies. Here I am -- old enough now to go to my 35th high school reunion! So the first thing I want to tell you is STOP longing for some future event...becoming 18, turning 21...it'll happen before you know it. There is so much I know now that would have helped you so much back then. But if you knew it then you wouldn't be who you are today. And finally, after all these long years, I mostly really like you now. The hurts I could have warned you about made you who you are, so it is hard to tell you to do something differently. BUT, if I was going to give you advice here are the things I would say.

First of all, LEARN TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF!!! You take things way too seriously and it causes you so much agony. Believe me, your mistakes aren't fatal. And you know what else? Everyone else is so worried about their own stuff they aren't paying nearly as much attention to you as you assume. So lighten up. Laugh. Secondly don't be so afraid of failing that you don't try new things. Don't demand perfection before you act. Try something new every chance you get. Things that you will treasure will come hard...so get in there and work for them. Stop settling for the things you know you can achieve.

Here's what I want you to know....YOU ARE WORTH IT! YOU ARE LOVEABLE! You deserve to be treated like the treasure you are. Demand it!

Cherish your relationships. About 10 years from now you are going to meet someone that will change your life. Not because it's some grand romantic relationship because you will be married. It will be because you learn for the first time that death can come quickly and way, way too early. You learn to say "I love you" and not be afraid. So if you love someone, tell them!

More than anything you should get to know Jesus. NOT religion. Not doctrine. You waste so many years doing church and there is going to come a heartbreaking time in your life when you discover that church isn't going to sustain you. Of course you learn then what it means to walk with Jesus....but oh, you could be so much farther along if you learned that earlier. Get in the Word for something other than trying to prove you are right and everyone must agree with you.

I guess when it is all said and done those are the most important things you should know. You are going to experience some really hard things but, girl, you are so capable of dealing! The Lord is going to become so very real to you and you are going to find out that you don't need much else. Crushing heartbreak, betrayal, loss....they are all going to mold you into the woman you are now in 2007. I'm proud of who you've become.

Love,
Me in 2007

p.s. Memorize your daddy's face and hands and voice. Store up every memory. Make more memories because the time is going to come way, way sooner than you were ready that the memories will be all you have. And that's the saddest thing of all.