I am SO glad I went to the pre-conference as well as the conference. It was exactly what I needed and my spirit was refreshed. I took away so much that I don't know where to start processing all the things tumbling through my head. I thoroughly enjoyed Dr. Henry Cloud's sessions. I always connect the most with Sheila Walsh. I laughed so hard at Anita Renfroe that I thought I would break a rib. She is without a doubt the funniest lady I have every heard. Nicole Johnson is gifted - I had no idea that I loved Nicole Nordeman but now I do! All in all it was just a blessing and I am so grateful to God for giving me the opportunity.
Dr. Cloud reinforced some things I have been thinking about for quite a while now. I am continually challenged by my desire to be real and my desire to be proper. You generally can't be both I've found and way too often my desire to be accepted is much stronger than my desire to let the real Michelle show through. The Michelle that is wounded, that struggles with doubts, with anger and apathy. I am not sure I can be a vessel that God can really use if I don't become transparent but as much as I love my brothers and sisters, it never really feels safe to be real. Because, all the rest of the church is working hard to be proper too. I think it takes one brave soul to turn the tide and perhaps God continues to call me to be the brave soul. But I am not. Really. But I'm tired of being strong too. I've been reliving "my story" for quite a while now and I am beginning to suspect God is preparing me for something and that is disconserting.
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