More weekend gleanings

Earlier I shared what I learned that worship was -- during the second session we learned what worship was not. This session had 3 points as well --

• Worship is not of the flesh. The intended target for our worship is not us. If our vertical relationship isn't right the horizontal relationship isn't benefitted. How many of our decisions though are based on the flesh rather than the spirit? Just the day to day decisions of your life -- is the deciding factor based on your wants to's or God's?


• Worship is not a fortress to be guarded and defended. Here's where are personal likes fit in. It's okay to prefer one worship style over another but fortresses keep people out and we should be building freeways instead. Insisting that worship be done the way I like it is not pleasing to God.


• Worship should not be forsaken. I personally grew up knowing Hebrews 10:25 by heart...we were "not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together as was the habit of some." Our casual attitudes toward worship and attendance do not bring the kind of connection that encourages the binding of our hearts to God's. We miss such a blessing when we don't join our brothers & sisters in entering the holy presence.

Worship isn't a place we go - it's our response to the most amazing gift we could ever imagine and never deserve.

Spell check doesn' t always work......

Today was a busy day at work. It's the end of the month and so I've got a bunch of stuff to do to close the books on February. The systems have opened to adjust our forecast and I've got to get all that figured out. It's performance review time and I have been scheduling, rescheduling, cancelling and rescheduling again so many reviews I have lost track. All this on top of the regular goings on of a busy law office. Today was the busiest. I had to get a new position opened up so that we can fill a position in Sao Paulo. Only we have a new generation of this particular application and of course there are glitches. These glitches wouldn't allow me to do anything in the system. Completely shut out. I had a deadline that was really urgent and I had spent well over an hour on a job that should have taken me less than 5 minutes. I was getting so frustrated and firing off emails and making calls trying to find someone who could give me a work-around for this situation. I had multiple people in the mix and everyone recognizing the problem but no idea as to the remedy. It was tense. And then I got an email that made me laugh out loud. I still had the problem but it's amazing what laughter will do for your soul! The sender had apologized for the problem and assured me that they were working furiously to figure out how to fix the problem. The final sentence was the corker.

"I am so sorry for any incontinence this may have caused you."

There very nearly was some incontinence happening after I read that. Somebody needs to invent word error check. But then again, maybe not.

Weekend

This weekend was our annual Praise Team retreat. It was very good. Last year we had a more nuts & bolts weekend where we did breathing exercises, etc. It was good and necessary and we learned a lot. Not that I have yet to master "back breathing". For goodness sake. Proper stance, (or sitting on the edge of the chair), blend, right notes, timing, dynamics...and now back breathing? I just consider it a success when I don't belt out something when I'm supposed to be quiet. Like singing away, praising God loudly only to be elbowed because the song slide clearly says "Men only".

I'm expecting a pink slip any day now.

But, back to this year. This year the worship leader from a church in Garland or Dallas or somewhere over there east of 75 came and spoke to us on worship. What it is, what it isn't and finally what it could be if we got the first two of those figured out. We didn't do any technical things--just a lot of worshipping and praising and breaking out into groups to share our thoughts about what we were learning. Each of his three sessions had three main points (I think that is scriptural, is it not?). The first night we talked about what worship and what it is -- they were three "T's".

Worship is:

• Transcendent
• Transparent
• Transformational

I think we can all see that worship is so much more above and beyond and over and past anything we could possibly imagine (that's transcendent). And it's easy to see the natural progression that when we have truly worshipped (our spirit touching God's spirit) we are transformed. You can't walk away from a manifestation of God without being changed. The one that I have been so insistent on for years now is that we must be transparent. But living a transparent life is so uncomfortable. It is downright frightening - you are so vulnerable and that's not a place we like to visit, let alone camp. It's a tragedy when people come into our assembly and they are hurting and alone and they leave our assembly after an hour and a half and they are still hurting and alone.

I don't think that is what God had in mind when he planned for us to live in community. I am challenged to lower my mask. No matter how scary it is -- even if it's for a moment I pray God give me the wisdom and discernment and recognition of the opportunity.

God bless your day --- may you recognize the blessing and then go out and share it!

It's a journey, folks

I had a co-worker today ask me how I could forgive my ex-husband. It caused me to stop and think about it for a minute. Truth is, lots of days I don't feel one bit of forgiveness. I have found that during those times the only prayer I can offer is "Lord I don't want to forgive him and so I'm going to have to rely on you to get me there. I don't even want to want to. " I think over the years I have learned that forgiveness is a journey, not a destination. Sometimes I'm at a dead stop. I've even put it in reverse a time or two. I've gotten off the road and taken detours. There are potholes and dips. What matters, I think, is that I'm on the road.

Any success I've had (and it's often pitifully small) is because of who I want to be and not because he deserves it. If I focus on that -- who I want to be -- it's easier. Focusing on the pain of what he did keeps me captive.

I have learned too that feeling isn't necessary for doing.

I can't do either one of them without God doing it through me...in spite of me.

Joyous Trip (But I hate the getting there part)

I don't know if I've mentioned before that I am not a good traveler. I just flat out don't like it. I like being home. I don't like long car trips. I especially don't like flying. Ooooh boy, no, I don't like that. I was actually 40+ years old before I even got on a plane. I had never lived anywhere that was actually an easily accessible option and I didn't know anyone that I would fly to see. So...didn't need to conquer that fear, thank you very much.

Then I moved to the Dallas area from the panhandle. Some of the people I hold closest to my heart are in the panhandle. I'm here. They are there. I can drive 6 hours to go see them. Or I can drive 45 minutes to Love Field and get to Amarillo in 50 minutes. I still have to drive a couple of hours to get to my friends - but I'm way ahead of the ball game if I climb on board that flying death trap. So one day, armed with a prescription for two fairly potent little pills from the good doctor I walked onto a Southwest jet and flew to Amarillo. Amazingly enough I got there. And it was so fast!! Slowly I began to manage the dread (and without drugs I might add!). As long as it's Southwest and preferably within an hour of home I manage it just fine now. I don't know that I'll ever be perfectly comfortable - but I'm not a total basket case anymore either.

SO this weekend was the Fiftieth wedding anniversary of these people and I absolutely had to be there. I didn't think too much about it as I purchased the tickets for my oldest son and myself, just looked forward to being with a family I love dearly. The closer to departure date we got the more nervous I became because they were predicting wintry-like precipitation. Morning of the flight dawned cold but no snow/rain/sleet. I'm thinking it's going to be okay. We needed to be at the airport by 8:30 a.m. at the very latest and didn't. By about 15 minutes. I had decided to check my luggage because of the liquid restrictions and that whole hassle. We loaded our luggage onto the little platform and alarm bells started ringing and a computer voice begins calling out "Late Check In!! Late Check In!" That does nothing at all for my rising anxiety. We line up to go through the security checkpoint, along with at least half of the population of the DFW metroplex. I'm eyeing the clock and thinking "AUGH!! What are we doing to do if we miss our flight?" It's my turn and I stick my purse in the bucket along with my shoes and walk through the gate. All's well. Oops. No it's not. "BAG CHECK PLEASE, BAG CHECK!" "Step over here ma'am we're going to have to open your purse." A small trial size tube of Mary Kay hand lotion. He gives me a talking to and I'm nodding yes sir, yes sir all the time thinking "We're going to miss our flight! Take the lotion if you want, just let me go!" Then we are off.

Just to maximize my anxiety the flight devils arranged for our gate to be the very last one. We have got to run. I don't mean walk fast. I mean we have to run. About the time we rounded the corner of gates 4, 5 & 6 I'm thinking to myself "let there be an EMT in this crowd because I just may well keel over." I can see our gate on the horizon...I do mean horizon and I can see Matt in the distance as well. To get my mind off my breathless panting I tried diverting my thoughts and it occured to me, “Great! I’m not going to have time to buy a magazine and what am I going to divert my completely unrealistic but terror-filled thoughts with now?” This was followed quickly by the realization that I really, really needed to go to the bathroom and there wasn’t time. We got to the gate to see the tail end of our “A” group walking down the concourse. Whew. We'd made it. I’ve never been on an airplane bathroom before but I just really don’t think I’m going to be able to make it all the way to Amarillo. I ask Matt if he’s ever been on one before. He says “Once. I threw up all over that thing.”

We find a row where he can sit by the window and I can sit by the aisle. I begin nervously rummaging through the seat pocket because I know I’m going to have to look at something or I’ll start thinking about being thousands of feet up in the air. Just as nerve racking to me is the fact that I am in an enclosed area and I CANNOT GET OUT. I'm stuck with a copy of “Sky Mall” but it's something. Then to just really cap off the experience the pilot comes on the speaker and ratchets up the anxiety level several notches: “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard Southwest Flight 1452. We are going to have turbulent weather today and so will not be turning off the seatbelt signs. You will not be allowed to get up to use the restrooms and our flight attendants will not be serving drinks. We do apologize but it’s for your safety that we ask you to remain buckled in for the entirety of the trip today.” Oh good grief. Turbulent weather. No magazine. Can’t use the bathroom. Can it get any worse? My prayers became a little more urgent and a whole lot more streamlined. “Please, please, please let us get there, Lord.” I'm here to tell you it worked, internet peoples! We got to 35,000 feet and the pilot came on again and said “It looks like it’s going to be much smoother than anticipated and while we ask you to keep your seat belts on if you don’t need to move about, you can use the restrooms and our flight attendants will be moving through the aisles to take your drink orders. I looked down the aisle to see the bathroom available and bolted. I am only 5’3” and while I could stand to lose 20 pounds I’m not large. I don’t know how anyone of any size at all could fit into that tiny closet. But fit in I did. Just as I sat myself down on that little airplane port-a-potty we hit a patch of turbulence.

I did not holler out loud because I just would not do that. That would just be too embarrassing! But my honest to goodness thoughts were “Oh NO!!! I’m going to meet my Lord with my pants down.”

And that is my story of Southwest Flight 1452.

A find

I got an iPod last year -- I asked for a little Nano. My sweet husband in his typical go-one-better mode got me a 30g iPod and I have still not even begun to really utilize it. Katie is constantly telling me how I need to trade with her and take her Nano because I don't fully utilize what I have. While that's true, I'm keeping mine. I know how to download music and I have had more fun with that - you'll find the craziest mish-mash of songs on the thing. Lots of Casting Crowns because they are my favorite - but I have also got Plaine White T's, All American Rejects, Carrie Underwood, Johnny Cash, Norm Greenbaum, Sting, Gary Allan....see? I'm quite a versatile girl!!

But I finally got with the whole Podcast program yesterday. I couldn't imagine why one would want to do that but my good friend Shirley convinced me I did, indeed want to do just that. She sent me to the best website -- http://www.oneplace.com/ . There is a ton of great lessons from all sorts of great Bible teachers. I subscribed to a couple of Podcasts. Don't quote me on this one because I really don't have a clue but I THINK that means I'm going to get their broadcast every day. I subscribed to Jack Graham (minister at Prestonwood Baptist in Dallas) and also Chip Ingram. Then I got single lessons by Alistair Begge, Beth Moore, Max Lucado, Dr. Gene Getz and Ravi Zacharias. Maybe more. It was an awesome ride to work this morning -- such a better use of my travel time. Thank you Shirley for the referral!!

And finally ----------Happy Valentine's Day!

Delete, delete

Yesterday in Bible class the teacher gave an illustration that I won't soon forget. He was speaking my language and it brought the point home to me in a way that meant something tangible in my life. We have been studying covenant and what it means in relationship. Yesterday the text was Hebrews 7, 8 & 9.

I live and die by email. I have got folders and subfolders and sub-sub folders. Whenever I get my inbox down to under a 100 messages I feel like things are under control. I file things in separate folders or I decide that I don't need that anymore so I delete it. I do not have Outlook set up to where my sent box and my deleted folder automatically deletes when I log out. Oh no. That would be tragic. Any numbers of times I've found myself going through the sent folder and then the delete folder trying to find something I sent or that was sent me. So, although I have deleted something, I haven't really deleted it.

There comes a time however that I have to go through the sent file and the delete file and really delete things. My inbox is reaching the maximum size and I can't send any more emails until I dump something. So I go into my delete folder and look at the messages...mmmmm...I might still need this info and so I pass over it. I come to something that I don't need anymore, I don't want and know I am never going to be required to have that data again. So then I delete delete it. It is gone.

That's what God says He does with my sins. In Hebrews 8:12 we can read:

"For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more."

God delete-deletes my sins. They are gone. Not even the FBI can find them on the hard drive of my life. I love it when an illustration hits me right where I live. Everytime I hit delete now I'm going to remember that God has a big delete key that He built in and chooses to use it for me.

Up and going

I'm back among the land of the living and trying to get caught up on everything.

As I was walking to the cafeteria yesterday a thought popped into my head that was a powerful reminder of the purpose of events in my life. As well, a reminder of the importance of recognizing God at work in my life. The verse that came to mind was in John 9....the story of the man who was blind from birth. Jesus healed him and his disciples question was "Who sinned that this man was born blind? Him or his parents?"

How very human! The immediate thought when something catastrophic happens is "What did I (or they) do wrong?" I love Jesus's answer: "No one sinned. This happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." The Amplified Bible goes further - that the work of God would be illustrated in his life. It caused me to look backwards at all the things that have taken place in my time on this earth and think "Okay, was the work of God illustrated by my response to the trial?" I think most of the time we have a choice as to whether or not there is any positive illustrating going on. There are times when the Father chooses to work in a miraculous way that is completely separate and apart from any assistance on our part. But as a general rule, God works and we respond...and our response illustrates God's work or it denies it. It brought to my mind that old hymn that I used to see in the old song book -- "You may be the only Bible the world ever reads." I don't know that song but the words are some powerful words.

How I long to illustrate God's work! May He grant me the grace and wisdom to remember that when life hits me up side the head.