This has been a time of wilderness wandering for me. That I chose to wander is an inescapable truth -- though it didn't seem like a choice. It seemed (and seems) to be a by-product of traveling a long road that I didn't necessarily choose to be on to begin with. Have you ever gone on a trip and had the route all planned out only to discover mid-trip that due to road construction there was a detour? I had my life trip planned out. It seemed to be a good trip - not one full of surprises and adventure since I am not fond of either of those things. It was a nice smooth, straight stretch of highway. I wake up one day to discover that somewhere I was forced to take a detour and I don't know where this road is taking me. I can't see far ahead - the only endless stretch of road seems to be the one that is behind me. Instead of trusting that the road is the design of the great road designer I've caught myself way too many times pulled over at a road stop - griping and complaining about the provisions. Second guessing God.
A wise friend told me that perhaps I was on this road so that I would recognize that God was the provider. Were the road one I could have easily traveled would I have so easily recognized his provisions? Likely, no. Now I am forced to rely, forced to trust one step at a time and forced to admit it's not me....none of it is me. If I make it through it's because God did it. That's the whole of it. God did it.
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