Merry Christmas!

This could be me...........

After driving around the Fry's parking lot on Saturday afternoon I almost sympathize with this lady...

Tagged

Way back weeks ago I was tagged and am just now getting around to doing it. I'm sorry. Actually the whole concept of being tagged was quite surprising - it indicates someone even knows I have a blog and I'm still not accustomed to that. But here we go.....Eight Things About Me

8 Things About Me

8 TV Shows I Watch

1. Jon & Kate Plus 8
2. Little People Big World
3. Divine Design
4. Flip That House
5. Boston Legal
6. NCIS
7. Ghost Whisperer
8. Decorating Cents
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8 Favorite Restaurants

1. On The Border
2. Pappasito’s
3. Posado’s
4. El Fenix
5. The Blue Goose
6. Chipotle
7. Texas Roadhouse
8. Red Lobster

(Can you recognize the theme in 1-6? Three words: Mexican. Food. Heaven.)
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8 Things That Happened Today

1. Did a phone interview
2. Talked to Shirley on the phone about said interview
3. Came to work along with 43 others (in a building that holds 8500)
4 . Did some Christmas shopping over lunch
5. Emailed friends
6. Read some blogs
7. Talked to God about Matt moving to China
8. Checked on a dwindling bank balance. (See #4)
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8 Things I Look Forward To

1. Increasing intimacy with the Lord
2. Visiting China to see my son
3. Talking to my Colorado son on the phone
4. Going to the movies with my family on Christmas Day
5. Seeing my sister
6. Hugging my mom
7. Visiting the panhandle
8. Being a grandma
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8 Things I Wish For

1. My kids to know the Lord
2. My kids to find & fulfill their God-given passion
3. My kids to find the life mate that will help them get to heaven
4. To live out in the country
5. To find a job that will actually make a difference in the world
6. A cleaning lady that would come at least twice a month
7. To be a kept woman
8. To sleep all night tonight without having to elbow someone to get them to turn over
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I'm supposed to tag 8 people but I don't even have 8 readers with blogs so that part I'm just going to leave alone.

I'm b-a-a-a-c-k

What a wonderful week! It was scary getting there but once we were safely ensconced in our condo it was just fabulous. It started snowing on us in Colorado Springs and it snowed all the way to Winter Park. That's a long way to go in snow. Once we hit I-70 West it was really bad --- trucks in the ditch everywhere. The warning signs were lit up that all tractor trailers had to have chains on. I'm thinking if trucks need chains then it couldn't hurt if we had them either --- but we live in Texas, people. Why would we have chains??? We debated stopping and spending the night but decided as long as we could creep toward our destination we would. Creep, we did -- but we finally made it. Since it was snowing so much I am most thankful that it was pitch dark as we climbed Berthoud Pass. It was just fine that I couldn't see that steep cliff on my side of the car. Once we got there the weather turned fine and the guys enjoyed two days of skiing. No more often than we get to go two days is all they can handle. Katie and I stayed at the condo and read books. I crocheted a scarf and begin embroidering some tea towels. I haven't done that in ages and ages. We also went and had a spa pedicure that was ridiculously over-priced and not all that good. But it felt decadent and so okay, I guess. We didn't do a very good job of taking pictures this year---I don't know why. But, here you go--a glimpse of my week. Isn't it beautiful?

My babies are all grown-up:

How I miss this boy's hugs!!

Now picture this in the pitch black night with a blowing snowstorm all around you!


I've got more to write about -- I was tagged by Jessica forever ago and I have to get to that--I have to tell you about my Sunday experience and my newest first. But now I'm going to crawl into a bed warmed by an electric blanket and read until I fall asleep. Which is likely to be in 3.2 minutes.

And they're off!

We are on the road - headed to Winter Park, Colorado!!! I dread the trip -- all 871 miles of it. I'm just such a rotten traveler. We break it up - tomorrow we will drive to Amarillo and stay the night with Thomas' sister. Monday we will drive to Winter Park and spend the whole week with my #2 son. Thomas and Matt will ski, Katie & I will cook, pamper ourselves, sit in front of the fire and just talk. Something for everyone! It's been snowing a lot so anyone who reads this ask God for travel safety & no broken bones. We will be back home on Saturday the 13th. SO I will

It's a sad day in Texas. Maybe my grief is big enough to be a sad day in all of the south.

I had to wear my fat jeans.

It has completely robbed me of the sense of joy that a Blue Jeans Day typically has for me here in Corporate America.

Please bow your head for a moment of silence. If you want to beg God to allow me to wake up thin that would be perfectly appropriate as well.

Amen.

Going, going, gone............

Readers, let me introduce you to my new BFF. I'm afraid she's quite unaware she has received this great honor. She doesn't even know me. But, oh how she cracks me up. She wrote a post today that had me rolling on the floor because she fessed up to something that I did just this week. I would have gone to meet my Lord & Savior without ever telling another soul. Let me just say that right out loud. Before I knew what I was doing, a spirit of confession descended upon me and I posted the sad story right there in her comments. For all the world to see.

I have lost all pride. It's obvious I am on my way to a place I heard my momma talk about when I was a child. The phrase was quite puzzling to me. I wasn't quite sure what it meant but it didn't sound like somewhere I wanted to go.

I'm going to pot, internets, I'm going to pot.

This would be the most inappropriate of all times to hear an amen.

Praise!

Today was the day I've been dreading -- but I am happy to report I am still gainfully employed. Praise God. It was a long, terrible day as so many were let go. Lots of tears, lots of hugging, lots of quiet whispers. I'm exhausted, sad, and grateful.

Turns out I was on the list to be let go but the manager I had previously supported before I took my present position had made it a point to write a letter telling them that he didn't think people knew fully how much I did. And that made a difference! They took me off the list -- but sadly that means they put someone else on. It's hard to feel happy and guilty at the same time.

On my way to work this morning I talked to God about giving me the courage to be his hands and his heart. I knew people would be getting tragic and unexpected news and I felt sure there would be opportunities for ministry. I also expected that I would be called upon to comfort the person who was laying me off -- as horrible as it is to be let go I think it would be a hundred times worse to be the person giving the news. Turns out I did get the opportunity to comfort her -- just not for the reason I thought it would be. She had a very long, hard day and it was about more than she could stand. I hope I was a comfort to someone - I hope I didn't miss any of the opportunities that were put in my path.

Now maybe I can do something about that ten pounds of emotional overeating I'm wearing.

Sigh.

Pew moments...

There isn't a commandment I struggle with more than forgiveness. What does it look like? How will I know when I have done it? Is it ever done? How much of forgiveness is a work I do and how much is a work the Holy Spirit does through me?

Sunday morning we had an awesome blessing in the form of a young man named Joel. Joel was visiting from Kigali, Rwanda. He shared his story and I was jerked back and forth between tears of sorrow and tears of joy. Joel survived the horrible genocide that took place in 1994. That simple sentence can never paint the picture of what he went through. His family were all murdered before his eyes. They were chopped into pieces with a machete and thrown into the toilet. His baby nephew was thrown against the wall time and again until his brains spilled to the floor. The nearby river turned totally red with the blood of the Tutsi peoples who were murdered by the ruling Hutus. Joel managed to leave the city and tried to get to Tanzania. He was captured and beaten. His torturers told him they would not kill him - they wanted him to suffer and wish he were dead. They cut a large chunk from his calf and gave it to him and tried to force him to eat his own flesh. He eventually escaped and stayed out of Rwanda until it was safe to return. His family is all dead, he has nothing and someone introduced him to the God of Heaven and Earth. A visiting American family 'adopted' him and put him through University. He has an advanced degree now in accounting. He is also gifted with music. He taught us a song that was all about God is faithful and his love endures forever. "Mwamba, Mwamba, Mwamba" are the only words I can remember....or say. After he got us able to sort of sing the chorus he told us to reach out and put our arms around our neigbors because we needed to sway to the music. Then he said (my best effort to recall and paraphrase) "what is beautiful about this song is that as we stand brother to brother and sing we have Hutu and Tutsi side by side, sharing in the faithful love of God." He forgave the men who murdered his family. He joyfully worships with them.

I sat there in that seat and wondered if I could stand side by side with my ex husband. He's done so much harm to Katie - he didn't kill her physically but emotionally he has made a train wreck. He murdered her innocence. Changed forever the life she would have had. Can I forgive? Do I even want to? There have been seasons in my life where I feel like I could have answered in the affirmative. That's why I have to believe it's more of a journey than it is a destination. I sure hope so anyway.