Rant

The last two weekends I went shopping. There are very few things I hate more than shopping but the wardrobe has gotten pretty pathetic. So I hit the big sales. I looked. I tried on. I went through the clearance racks.

I was a teenager in the 70's. I lived through the geometric prints & the baby doll tops. In junior high I made the dress I got my school picture taken in. I loved that dress. A royal blue, cowl necked tent dress. It just sounds lovely doesn't it? Only a prepubescent girl should wear such a thing. Fast forward to the 80's. I was pregnant. Twice. Two times I wore maternity clothes. Getting pregnant was very hard for me so I was excitedto be wearing those maternity sacks clothes. Now it's the new millenium. I am not pregnant nor prepubescent. I do not want to relive the 70's nor experience pregnancy again.

Am I the ONLY woman out there that feels this way???? What I am about to show you is frighteningly representative of the choices I found. ALL of these come from the women's section of the stores - not the juniors. Looking for a top to wear with your wardrobe staple, the black pant? How about this: or maybe this:
Maybe you want to wear khaki's and so you could top them with this:

One of the things that was driving this shopping trip was the discovery that I did not have a single dress to my name. Not one. I realized this a few weeks ago when I was getting ready to sing for a funeral. Finding a dress is even more difficult than finding a shirt. What middle aged woman out there would (or should) wear the following: or maybe this:

This is just wrong.

I double checked. I was not shopping in the juniors. It wasn't the costume department. An all out protest is in order. Somebody help me here - can I get an amen?