and so it is with the fifty fabulously fascinating things about yours truly.
40.) I love to eat my steaks just one little second before medium rare. I want the center to be warm, not cold but I don't want it to be "pink" either. Pink. That's for sissies. I like to say I want to hear the echo of that steer's dying cry when they bring me my plate. If it weren't so early in the morning this post would be making me really hungry.
41.) I am afraid of heights and the older I get the worse it gets. When I have to go to the fifth floor to get guests I have to walk across this "bridge" that is obviously 5 floors up and it's just open space below me to the main floor and the sides of this bridge are glass. I have to look straight ahead and stay in the middle of the walkway or take a Xanax - one or the other. I hate going to get Outside Counsel...here I am trying to act all formal and business like and trying to lead them back to the elevator without passing out on that stupid walkway. Or trying to keep them from realizing I have the look of terror frozen on my face. Or keep them from realizing I have stepped in between them so they are now on either side of me. Hey, if this thing goes down I want to land on somebody besides myself.
42.) Here lately I have been growing concerned about my mind. I really think I've lost it. Why am I coming to this conclusion? Because I really honestly keep thinking I would absolutely love to have another baby...or three. I miss their sweet soft skin, those sweet baby sounds and the feel of them in your arms. I miss the wonder in their eyes when they learn something new. Then I remember that babies turn into teenagers. Which explains why I believe my mind has left the building.
43.) One time I was on the sidewalk in my home town of La Junta, CO watching a car blow up over and over - it was a scene from the film Mr. Majestyk. It was incredible to watch how it all worked. It was quite exciting - I mean this is La Junta CO for goodness sake. I was on the corner of 4th & Colorado, right in front of Colorado Savings & Loan. Someone came up behind me and hollered at someone on the street. I turned around and it was Charles Bronson. In the flesh. Right beside me. That movie was really awful but it was so cool to recognize all the scenery and know where things were filmed that we could overlook the awfulness of the movie itself. They actually filmed several movies in that area believe it or not. Quite a bit of Badlands (Sissy Spacek) was filmed on my former in-law's property. Eddie Albert and James Arness were there for some film. James Arness was quiet and shy but all the locals loved Eddie Albert. He just joined in w/ life in La Junta - went to the high school football game, etc. For the record - Charles Bronson - not friendly.
44.) I do not get my nails done. I do not have a person come clean my house. My indulgence? I get a massage every two weeks. I'm working to see how I could get that to every week. Aaahhh, heaven.
45.) I only had 4 serious boyfriends in my young life. Just four. But I liked at least a gazillion. I read that old adage "You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince" and took it to heart. My grandma used to tell me "Michelle, boys are like busses. Just stand on the street corner long enough and another one will come by." I didn't get to date until I was 16 so I figured I had a lot of time to make up for. I thoroughly absolutely loved my teen years. I had a blast. I have very few regrets, didn't do much I would be ashamed to tell about all these years later; but I had FUN.
46.) I have struggled with depression for 20 years. I say struggle because it took me a long time to face the fact that I have a chemical imbalance in my brain that just has to have help to do its thing. I fought and fought the notion that it somehow made me weak or sick or crazy. I fought the feeling of embarrassment and shame. Now I say "what the heck??" If a pill in the morning helps me enjoy life like it was meant to be enjoyed then I'm going to take it. Right along with my calcium, Juice Plus, One a Day vitamin, Flax Seed Oil and baby aspirin is my Wellbutrin. Praise God for the miracles of modern medicine!
47.) I used to make all my own clothes. I only had one speed in sewing too - FAST. I didn't care a whit about how things looked on the inside so long as they looked good on the outside so I took every short cut in the world, never pressed my seams open, etc. There were many days in high school when I got up in the morning, decided I had nothing to wear and hurriedly whipped something up at my sewing machine. I made my first dress when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade. I just sewed all the straight seams - my mom did the armholes, etc. It was just a straight dress (they called them "shifts" back in the olden days) but I made it myself and I was hooked on sewing from that moment on. I never had more than one "store bought" dress at a time I don't think -- I made everything. All my friends were so impressed. It makes me so sad that I don't sew anymore.
48.) I do not remember a time in the last 30 years that I haven't been trying to, about to or giving up on losing 'about 20 pounds'. For crying out loud, Michelle, just do it.
49.) Some times when I am quiet and still I am overwhelmed at how blessed I have been to know and love so many people. I was horrified that my life was going to take me out of La Junta Colorado and not only that, but I was going into a life that would most certainly have me moving around. And so I lived in Denver, CO; Flagler, CO; Texline, TX; Spearman, TX and now Allen, TX. In every one of those places I have left a life friend who impacted me greatly and I loved deeply. I might not see them again in this life (I sure hope that isn't the case) but I'll forever be in heaven with them. How differently my life has turned out from what I thought I wanted way back in those teen years when I was planning everything. God has blessed me richly.
50.) Number 50 -- what to say last of all? I think it should be really astonishing. This is something I haven't told anyone except my daughter and my husband. It was so painfully embarrassing I cried. So I need to just get it out there -- laugh at my own expense and give you a gloriously ridiculous image to store in your mind when my name comes up. This just happened last year. The most embarrassing thing ever. It was so funny I wanted to share it a million times but then it was also so embarrassing I couldn't. But now - for all 3 of my blog readers -- the unveiling of Michelle Collard's most embarrassing moment. It was Christmas shopping time. I was in Collin Creek Mall. Thomas was there but we had separated so I was all by myself. I had to go to the bathroom and I was in Dillard's so I went to the bathroom there. It is tucked way in the back on the second floor past little boys clothes. I was wearing a belt on my jeans for some stupid reason - it's not like they were going to fall off (see #48). Since I won't touch the flusher w/ my hands I always have to turn around to do it with my feet. Somehow in doing that my belt caught the toilet paper roll. You can see where this is going. I walked out of the stall with the toilet paper caught in my belt. I think I took a good 6 feet before it broke off. But did I know this at that time? Oh, no. I washed my hands, adjusted my hair and walked out. Picture me walking all the way through the boys clothes, the girls clothes, the jewelry, the purses, down the escalator, through the women's clothes and out into the mall. I walked down the hall into the middle, across the center portion of the mall, down another hall to J.C. Penney's. This is no short walk mind you. The entire time I was letting every single human being in the mall know exactly where I had been. I walk all the way through the men's department in Penney's to the escalator and I'm going up when I hear someone behind me say "Miss" and I turn around and she is pointing behind me. I turn around and there was my royal train. If God would have called me home right there I would have been so happy. But no, he left me there w/ a face much redder than my hair and complete mortification overtaking me. BUT, I'm a Finnell above all else and we never ever ever let on that we have emotion or weakness so I reach around and grab that t.p. say "Oh for goodness sake!" and walk nonchalantly into the ladies clothes. Where I call Katie and am fighting back tears to say "you will never guess what just happened." I didn't feel like shopping anymore. So I called Thomas and said "we're going home where are you?"
Now when I think about that I just have to stop and laugh out loud. How many people's lives did I brighten that day!!! Don't you know at least one million people called their friends to say "You'll never guess what I just saw!"
And now you know 50 completely irrelevant things about me.
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