Teens vs. Dogs

REASONS WHY HAVING A DOG IS BETTER NICER EASIER THAN HAVING TEEN AGERS:

1. A dog adores you. All the time. No matter what.
2. A dog never cocks her eyebrow and says "You're wearing that?!!?"
3. A dog never asks for money. She may cost you a great deal of money but she doesn't ask for more in addition.
4. A dog's whereabouts is always known because she is loyally at your side.
5. A dog doesn't leave every light in the house on. All night.
6. A dog does not borrow your clothes, shoes, or makeup never to return it. In the event she does borrow swipe your shoe you don't have to wonder where it is. She is proudly carrying it in her mouth.
7. A dog does not question your sanity, your taste, your authority, your ability to have existed to this point without aid.
8. A dog does not ask for the car keys.
9. A dog does not jump up and down and yell "Party!" when you leave for the evening.
10. A dog is happy to see you when you return.

REASON WHY ALL POINTS ABOVE CAN BE ARGUED IN FAVOR OF THE TEEN-AGER:

A teen-ager (at least I personally have not experienced this) does not ...ahem....leave a deposit on your living room floor while you sleep. Not one, er..deposit. Not two. THREE SEPARATE "SURPRISE GIFTS".

That is the last time she gets human food. Abbey!! Bad girl!

Epiphany

Tonight I was in the car by myself when I believe that God gave me an insight into the heart of the most perfect of parents. It's been a tough spell in my parenting life, filled with a lot more doubt than confidence, tears than joy, and fear than peace. I've had to draw a line in the sand, stand firm and trust that God would give me the strength I needed. It is literally tearing me in two and there isn't a second of the day that I don't want to relent, make an exception or just plain pretend that none of the rebellion exists. As of this minute, I've had the strength to stand but it breaks my heart. Tonight I had my eyes opened to how it must break the heart of my Father when I want something that is contrary to what his will is. When I want something that is not in my best interests but I want it anyway. He says no when it is (of course!) within his power to say yes. I am not so presumptuous as to suggest there is any comparison to my feeble parenting attempts and the Lord's care for me. It was just that in that epiphany as I was hurting so much, I felt him say, "I know, Michelle. I know what you're experiencing." It doesn't ease my sadness any, but it comforts me to know that He knows what I'm going through. I am just so grateful that he lets me know that too.

Brought to you by...

I seldom watch TV infomercials because, well why would I when I can watch the same Flip That House for the 4,372 time? But, on occasion I have been known to get caught up in some Miracle! device, lotion or potion demonstration and for just a second I'm dreaming, "Could it be so?" That thought is usually vanquished 3 seconds after I guiltily think of all the devices, lotions and potions that have resided in my house for a period of time, never quite bringing the promised miraculous results. I'm nothing if not semi-intelligent so am now reasonably skeptical of anything that promises ... well pretty much anything. So I probably would not have tried this product if I hadn't been given a free sample in the grocery store.

Guys and gals, let me tell you, miracles still do happen. This is one new product that is every bit as fabulous as it promises. Run, don't walk to the nearest store and stock up on this divine invention. It will save you hours of soaking and scrubbing the Crock Pot!! Reynolds, you have done mighty fine this time!

Amazing Grace

When I was a teen there was a big push for us to know how to witness to our peers. Of course we didn’t call it witnessing at the time because we didn’t do that. We had formulas to memorize and scriptures to learn. I still remember those scriptures and God’s word in your heart is a very good thing. We didn’t do grace well in those days. I distinctly remember a youth rally at my home congregation where the speaker was illustrating for us what grace was. He said grace was “what made up the difference between what I did and what God required”. It made up the difference. For far too many years that was the impression I had of grace.

The problem is, it just ain’t so. How many years I have lost struggling with guilt, living in fear, trying desperately hard to get the ledger balanced so that my good deeds outweighed my bad deeds. That environment sets you up to become anything but the joy-filled Christian God calls us to be. It encourages you to become a judge. After all, I don’t have to be perfect, just better than you. There was a litany of things that were the most important to get right. If I got them right and you didn't I somehow felt better. I was going to make the cut and you probably weren't. The focus was always on what I did – did I worship right, believe right, sing right, pray right – if I could check yes on all of it then I would be okay. Did you get that? The focus was on what I did. Grace is all about what God did.

When my life fell totally apart, in spite of all those years of doing it right, I learned what grace was. I learned that I didn’t have it all right and I would never have it all right but it was absolutely okay. The only one who could ever get it right had paid my way in and all I needed to do was accept it and say thank you. Nothing I do, absolutely nothing I do is going to get me into heaven except accepting that gift. I’ll spend a lifetime doing as a response to that gift but it’s not the doing that got me the gift in the first place. In gratitude I serve him, in humility I love him, in awe I praise him.

I don’t know which grieves the heart of God more – someone who won’t accept the gift he gives or someone who insists on trying to pay for it.

Grace

Thoughts I was pondering today--

Why is it that after a certain age (which seems to be younger all the time) women start feeling this pressure to tuck, lift, smooth and plump every square inch of their flesh? The reality is that after you pass about 25 you can figure that you might possibly turn about 1 out of every 7 or 8 heads and after 35 you can forget it completely. And, it generally bugs the heck out of you. But men? They wear the same waist size they ever wore - they just wear button them lower and lower and 99% of the time seem oblivious!! How unfair is the pressure of that?

This is what I was thinking of for some reason today as I was walking across the parking lot of the grocery store. Thinking, "Okay, Michelle - your days are long over." At that very moment, in the middle of a flat expanse of cement I fell off my own foot. Looking like a complete klutz, I had to flail my arms about trying to keep my balance.

I bet I turned a head or two. Oh yeah. I've still got it.

Update

I realized this morning that I completely neglected to include one of my very favorite movies in the random list from the other day. I don't know how I forgot it either -- because this is a movie I actually own. Seldom, if ever, do I buy movies -- they are just dust collectors to my way of thinking. But this movie -- greatness. I asked for and received it for a birthday. So let me say without further ado that The Apostle must be included in my top ten list. So let's just bump those Die Hard movies (sorry, Bruce) and put Robert Duvall up there where he belongs. I don't know why this movie is so powerful to me but the whole struggle of this very human preacher to be who God has called him to be just resonates with me. I guess I saw myself -- on the one hand wanting to be wholly sold out to the Lord and on the other hand so tied to this world and the things in it. And that scene where he's talking to God and he says "Right now I am just so mad at you! I'm so mad ....I've always called you God and you've always called me Sonny." I just connect to the movie. The fallen nature of man against the longing of our hearts to be all God planned for us to be. Oh yeah. Watch it. And if you don't like it - go back and watch it again. You're missing something.

Difference Maker #5

In 1978 we moved to Texline, TX to minister to the church there. Texline is a little bitty town in the far northwest corner of the Texas panhandle. There were about 400 people in the town but it was a farming/ranching area so there were more people in the area. When we moved there the church had about 125 people. Those were some of the most wonderful people in the world. That's where I met JL as a matter of fact. We were young and stupid but we didn't have the faintest idea we were. After all, this was actually "our second church" so we pretty much knew all there was to know about ministering to God's people. (Fact of the matter is, it's a wonder we didn't offend everyone with our supposed wisdom.)

A young man moved to town to be a loan officer at the bank. He was just a couple of years older than us. JL as a matter of course met Mark and befriended him like he did everyone. Mark was searching for God - a "true" Christian was how he described it. After a time, he said "I want whatever it is that JL has -- I believe him to be a true Christian". He started coming to a Bible study and we grew to love him dearly. He gave his life to the Lord and was so committed to growing in the Lord. For some reason he and I connected - kindred spirits I guess. He was like the big brother I had always wanted and didn't have. Because he was single, I took it upon myself to 'mother' him -- feeding him, etc. He was just a really, really good person. One night after church on Sunday night he went home (he lived out in the country), changed into his shorts and went for his nightly jog. He was hit by a car and killed that night. John was called and he drove out there and held Mark's head in his lap until the ambulance came. They had to come clear from Dalhart because we didn't have an ambulance in Texline. John and JL drove behind the ambulance to Amarillo - I went out to the L abode and stayed with R. We heard a couple of hours later that he died before getting to Amarillo.

That was the first time I had ever lost anyone close to me. It was devastating. I knew nothing about grief but I learned the hard way. I learned in that horrible, nightmarish night that none of us had a guaranteed life span. If you love someone, tell them. I had grown up in a home where I knew I was loved, but we weren't 'touchy-feely' and didn't speak of love out loud. But I learned to do that after Mark. One of the things that gave me comfort in the dark days and weeks after he died, was that I HAD told Mark I loved him. So I didn't have that regret. I changed that night. For the better. I became more open to showing love and sharing love. In that way, Mark's life and death were honored and he lives on. When son #2 came on the scene, we honored him again -- Tyler Mark Scott, born 5 years after Mark died.

He'll be right back.

A few weeks ago the communion meditation was powerful and I keep pondering it. I had never heard this anywhere before. When Peter and John went to the empty tomb the Bible says that Peter went in and saw the linen strips that Jesus had been wrapped in lying there and in a separate place the cloth that had been around his head. The Bible specifically says the cloth that had covered the Lord's head was folded and set aside. Tim shared that he had recently read that in those days when a man was served his dinner he would take the napkin from the table and put it on his lap or tucked up under his chin. When he was through with dinner he would lay the napkin aside and that would be the signal to the servants that he was through. But if for any reason the man was called away before he was done he would carefully fold the napkin back the way it was and lay it beside the plate. That action would signify to the servants that he would be back. The apostles would have immediately recognized the significance of the folded cloth. It was the Lord's signal to them that he would be back. How powerfully that must have spoken to them. They still didn't understand everything but they wouldn't have missed that message.

And so today as I look at that seemingly insignifcant portion of John 20 I find great comfort in knowing the napkin was folded, not wadded up and laid aside.
So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. Then Simon Peter, who was behind him, arrived and went into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, as well as the burial cloth that had been around Jesus' head. The cloth was folded up by itself, separate from the linen. John 20:3-7

He's baaaack

Thomas went to Grenada on July 1 and came back on July 14. He loves that mission trip and had a great time watching God at work, building a preschool, and fellowshipping with 76 other Greenville Oaks people. He wants me to go....but I am not a flyer in the very best of worlds and the time they had actually getting there would have FREAKED me out. So I stay home and make money so he can go. Yeah, right. I do stay home. I realized that as attractive as being single might sound when you THINK you are sick to death of men(!), the attractiveness wears off at about day 4. And by day 10 you can't think of a single reason why you thought it would be fun to be alone. So I have a new appreciation for how hard being a widow is. God wiped my face in my judgemental snobbishness. Sigh. I don't know nearly as much as I like to think I do.

Random

I have a headache/backache today and have not been worth shooting. I spent the afternoon flipping between movies until I discovered that one of my all time favorites was showing and so I happily settled in to watch Pretty Woman for the three thousand four hundred and sixty eighth time. That got me to thinking about my favorite movies and so in no particular order I believe these to be the greatest all time movies:

1.) Pretty Woman
2.) Steel Magnolias
3.) Fried Green Tomatoes
4.) Dirty Dancing
5.) The Sting
6.) Lethal Weapon - all
7.) Rush Hour - all
8.) Die Hard - all
9.) Pay it Forward
10.) Ocean's Eleven

Some of those are really fine movies. Some of those are really bad (I mean can you really compare Rush Hour to Steel Magnolias?) but I love them all. This list is so bizarre that you can only come to one conclusion. I have multiple personalities and I obviously need medicine.

It wasn't me

Being a grown up is a lot of work. It's also not necessarily all that fun. Ideally speaking, of course, you have had all these years to grow in wisdom, maturity, spirituality, and plain old sense. But doggone it, sometimes doing the wrong thing is just so much more fun. My particular failing is 'being smart-mouthed' as your parents might have called it. I prefer calling it "being funny". Generally, however, that sassiness comes at the expense of others -- it just feels good to make fun of someone else. For about 1 millionth of a second anyway. Then God reminds me ever so gently that nothing I am saying, thinking or doing fits into the whatsoever's. You know, the whatsoever is noble, whatsoever is right , whatsoever is pure....

It has me thinking about when Katie was little. I suppose most kids have imaginary friends at one time or another. Katie was most persistent with hers as well as most creative. Katie's friend was also her twin sister. She was the evil twin sister. How great was that? "Kaitlin Elizabeth! Look at this ______!!" "That wasn't me. It was my evil twin." I never did catch the evil twin in the act but she sure caused us a lot of mischief. One day we were driving down the road and and saw a rotting out-building in the pasture beside us. Out of the clear blue she said "there's where SHE lives". We got used to having that girl around until one day she was gone. I asked her where the evil twin was and she nonchalantly replied "Oh...(long pause)....She's dead."

You know that smart-alec email I just sent griping about a co-worker? That wasn't me. It was my evil twin.

Talkin 'bout the rain

Time for my high school reunion. Ugh. Only the actual high school years themselves could be more angst-ridden. I had a great four years. I was, for the most part happy and constantly on the go. That's on the one hand. On the other, was the stress of constantly worrying about being "popular"...would he ask me out or not? What if I didn't have a date this weekend? Was this dress cute? There was that time I was afraid to go to my locker for days because a couple of girls did not want me around a certain guy. Never mind he was not dating, nor was he interested in dating either of them. The inevitable confrontation occurred. They strongly suggested I stay away from him. And I didn't. And that was that. Yes, indeed those were the days. I couldn't imagine a life where those relationships weren't center to my existence. And now here I am, ahem...(never you mind) how many years later and I have actually stayed in touch with maybe 5 people out of a class of 172. I wish I'd known then that I would never see some of those people again. I wish I'd had the maturity to know that it mattered less who sat beside me in English and more about who would sit beside me in eternity. The song HERE I GO AGAIN by Casting Crowns says it so well. How will they know if we don't tell them? It's a great song - you need to listen to it if you aren't familar with it but the thought is a prayer to God to give him the words as he talks to his friend who doesn't know the Lord and as he struggles for words he doesn't understand why he's so afraid to share the truth that will save his friend and yet "Here I go again, talkin 'bout the rain and mulling over things that won't live past today. And as I dance around the truth, time is not his friend. This might be my last chance to tell him that you love him, but here I go again...." (Actually, I urge you to run, don't walk, to the nearest place you can purchase CD's and purchase every Casting Crown CD you see. My favorite is Lifesong but the above song is on Casting Crowns and it's great too.)

(P.S...have you noticed that music is the way God speaks to me most often? And yes, the above picture is my high school. The octagon with the grey roof was an open-air hell hole, I mean, P.E. area. There were no, I mean NO windows....and oh yeah, Go Tigers!)

This is a test

AAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHH....I cannot get Blogger to post correctly. I have tried all afternoon to publish my latest nonsense and can't do it. So, this is just a test. It is only a test. If I can't get it to work what I wrote today is going to end up posted in June. For some bizarre reason. And I'm going to be annoyed if this silly test message ends up posting correctly. I'm going to wait until tonight and try again. In case it changes its mind about me.

Under the weather

I went home from early last Friday because I felt rotten. Slept all weekend when I wasn't running around with Thomas trying to get everything done so he could hop a plane bright and early Sunday a.m. Went to work Monday and felt rotten. Went to work Tuesday and thought to myself "you must be an idiot" so called the doctor and told the receptionist "I usually see Becky but I'll see the guy who sweeps your floors, I don't care". She said I may have to - but then, God was watching over me as always - Becky had an opening at 3:20. I have, as I already had accurately self-diagnosed, a sinus infection. And it was going south, not getting better with time.

So my Happy 4th of July is going to consist of a lot of sleeping. A little bit of cooking. A little bit of HGTV or TLC. I took the rest of the week off with the idea I would finish up the kitchen. Not the way I'm feeling today, but we'll see how it all goes.

Have a great one! Sorry I'm boring today. Particularly boring.

Another sigh...........

Happy Birthday, Tyler! I can't believe the boy is 21. It some ways it's actually surprising that he made it to 21. In every single sense of the word this child is all boy and kept me on my knees. But before I digress let me tell you how very much he is an answer to prayer.

I had endometriosis all during my 20's and 30's. I didn't actually know that until my 30's but it made getting pregnant very difficult. After Matt was born we were told we were lucky that we had him and to be thankful. Of course we were. But I wanted a houseful of Matthew's and that diagnosis was met with tears. For six years we waited for me to get pregnant and the stress and strain of all those tests and charts and drugs were taking their toll on my emotional health. Finally in 1986 we decided we'd adopt. We started the process in March 1986. All of the consultations and references were completed by Memorial Day, 1986. We had always heard the waiting list was long and we figured it would be at least a year before we would meet the baby God had for us. We received the official acceptance the first of July. On the 25th of August we got a call from the social worker. "You have a baby boy!” We made that 100 mile trip to Amarillo in short order. It was very important to Matt that he be included in the process and the social worker had drawn up a paper that was just for him - all about the responsibilities he had as an older brother and that he promised he would look out for Tyler and be a good role model for the rest of his life. I just bawled watching Matthew nod that he understood what he was signing (He was 6, remember) and watching him solemnly sign his name. Then we signed our names and she said "Just a minute" and left the room. In just a matter of minutes the door opened again and Sharon, the foster mom, carried Tyler in and handed him to me. Oh my gosh I was bawling and laughing and talking -- he was so beautiful. He was two months old when we were introduced and it was immediately apparent that this was the boy we'd been waiting for and that God had planned for all along. This is us just minutes after I first saw my son. Look at the smile on Matt's face.

Tyler was on the go from the very minute he figured out how to motor around. Nothing was safe in his reach. When he was 18 months old he found a screwdriver in the drawer and nearly dismantled his high chair before I discovered him. Another time his dad stepped out of the pickup to talk with someone and Tyler decided he waited long enough. He put the car in drive and took off down the street. He was 2. Tyler is very much an extrovert -- he is energized by people contact. The biggest punishment I could ever give him was to put him in his room alone. He is an adrenaline junkie and I know I don't even want to know half of what he has done. The things I know about (like skateboarding off a house) are scary enough. He is hard working, doesn't like to be idle, and is up for just about anything. Most of all he is an answer to prayer. He is so very much my son that I forget I didn't give birth to him. I couldn't possibly love him more. Happy Birthday, my son. Please, please, please be safe. Contrary to what you seem to believe, you are NOT invincible.

This is my very favorite picture of the little ham.

Dancin'

On my birthday Thomas surprised me with tickets to the Dancing With the Stars Tour. I would never have thought about going but it was so much fun. We went last night and I loved it. Thomas was persistent in getting tickets on line - he kept choosing "find new seats" until he found two seats next to an aisle. We were directly across from the stage in a perfect place. My fav, Joey Fatone, was a part of the group and he did the two dances that were my favorite from this season - the free style that got him a perfect 30 and the jive that was just way energetic and fun. The four guy stars are all singers and they did some fun singing numbers as well as the dances. And the closing finale was from one of my favorite movies (I know this is gay) - Footloose. It was greatness. An added serendipity was that seated two rows ahead of me in the American Airlines Center was one of my former students from well over 10 years ago. Ashley was just a dear and I loved her. I stayed in touch for years but as she graduated from high school and went on with her life we had lost touch. A year ago her younger brother who was Tyler's age just dropped dead at work. It was tragic. It was a blessing and surprise to see her and hug her sweet neck and just re-connect. She's doing well - as pretty as she ever was. So, all in all, last night was a complete 10!

Belated Father's Day

(I was going to post this yesterday but all plans got pre-empted with kitchen woes.)

I heard this song by Brad Paisley several years ago and it grabbed me and wouldn't let go. So I am posting this is honor of all the dads out there who show up day after day, do the job with all the love they possess, healing hurts they didn't inflict, mending hearts they didn't break all the while never having the honor of wearing the name. Life isn't fair to them but you never hear them complain and you never see the hurt they swallow.

He Didn't Have to Be

by Brad Paisley

When a single mom goes out on a date with somebody new
It always winds up feeling more like a job interview
My momma used to wonder if she'd ever meet someone
Who wouldn't find out about me and then turn around and run
I met the man I call my dad when I was five years old
He took my mom out to a movie and for once I got to go
A few months later I remember lying there in bed
I overheard him pop the question and prayed that she'd say yes

And then all of a sudden
Oh, it seemed so strange to me
How we went from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be

I met the girl that's now my wife about three years ago
We had the perfect marriage but we wanted somethin' more
Now here I stand surrounded by our family and friends
Crowded 'round the nursery window as they bring the baby in

And now all of a sudden
It seemed so strange to me
How we've gone from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' through the glass I think about the man
That's standin' next to me
And I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be

Lookin' back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
Yeah, I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
Because he didn't have to be
You know he didn't have to be

Happy Father's Day

I love you, I miss you, I'll see you again.

Who knows...

but what you are here for such a time as this? This is without a doubt one of the most comforting concepts in the Bible and I go to that verse time and again. I love the story of Esther and how God placed her where she was for a specific purpose. I love it when Mordecai asks Esther that very question and follows it with "look, God is going to do his thing with or without you" (well, that's more or less the way he said it). I look for reasons as to why I am here in corporate America - that I am working at "the house that Ross Perot built" still boggles my mind. A co-worker that I don't really know (she's an attorney and of course I am not) lost her father almost a year ago. She was struggling mightily in the last days of his life and so I sent her a note saying "hey, I'm here if you want to cry -- I know it hurts - been there done that". There is something about email that frees a person to say the things they might not say in person and she responded and poured out her heart to me and I was able to minister to her. Here we are now - she is facing her first Father's Day. Yesterday she emailed me again and said "Do you remember your first Father's Day?" and I was given another opportunity to minister to her hurting and broken spirit. I don't know what her faith is, or even if her faith is - except that she is angry with God. But I got the chance to share that God loves her and is there and understands that she is very angry with him at the moment and it's okay. I don't know if anything I said made a difference. I don't know if she'll move closer to Jesus because of anything I said.

For a few minutes yesterday and today I was about a higher purpose than contracts and litigation and such. And who knows if I was called here for just this purpose?

Thus far

I Samuel 7:12: "Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far has the LORD helped us."

Sunday morning during our ladies retreat my friend Gaynell spoke about this verse and it stuck in my memory banks. With the pitiful state of my memory, it's a wonder that I am able to recall this fact -- but I read it again today and I remembered. I was convicted to plant my own rock of remembrance so not only could I remember but I would have a visual to point out to my children at every opportunity. There is just something wonderfully reassuring and comforting about realizing 'thus far the Lord has helped me." When you break things down to 'thus far' it isn't so overwhelmingly frightening. PLUS there's the knowledge that God has been with me thus far so He's probably not going to pull out now. Every since I learned what an Ebenezer was I have loved that verse to that old hymn, "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing". There is something deeply sacred to me about worship through songs that are hundreds of years old. I love, love, love new worship songs but once in a while those old hymns say something that can't be said any other way.

All I need to hang on for is "thus far". That seems pretty simple. I think I can do that.